Author: The Raven (aka Richard Lewis) NOTE: The jokes here are extremely corny. They are not RHPS jokes. This is based on The Three Stooges, and therefore the jokes are a bit... well, silly. And a bit... "punny". If you've ever watched at least 3 episodes of the Stooges(GOOD episodes), you'll recognize some of these jokes. The Stooges used the same jokes over and over again in thier careers. Which brings the question: What happens to the Three Stooges on that rainy night? Why is this story so short? Why does the spelling suck so much? And when am I going to fix it? These may be answered in time. But for now, just imagine the beginning theme of The Three Stooges showing up, and get ready for... Curly Larry Moe IN: The Stoogy Horror Picture Show W/ special guests Joe Besser and Shemp Howard (Scene opens in a garage with Curly, Larry and Moe working on a car- thier car!) MOE: Okay boys, we're almost done. Larry, get over there and get a spare tire so's if we brake down. LARRY: (Goes over to a pile of spare tires, picks one up, and puts it in the trunk. Shuts it, but it doesn't close all the way) All done, Moe! MOE: Then hurry up, put it in the back, and get in! We gotta get to the next town to get our girls rings or we can't get married. (All three look towards the sky and sigh. They take off, but the tire falls out of the trunk. Scene fades in on car driving through a thunderstorm. Moe is driving.) MOE: You can hardly see through all this rain. CURLY: It's a rain of terror. MOE: Quiet! (Turns on radio) RADIO: And so, all are being told to be on the lookout for a strangely- dressed man, perhaps with a thick accent. LARRY: Wow, I wonder if thiers a reward for his capture. RADIO: There is a reward for the capture of this criminal. $1,500 CURLY: Is that ALL? RADIO: Yes! (All three stare at the radio, wondering how it answered) RADIO: Yes, you too can have brilliantly shining teeth... MOE:(Clicks radio OFF) Wow, if we could catch this guy... CURLY: No chance. That stuff's for real heroes. We're just auto repair guys. LARRY: Moe, Curly's right. We can't go out hunting for criminals right now, this is important. MOE: Okay, you morons made your point. But for a second, I... (BANG) MOE: What was that bang? LARRY:(Quietly, to Curly) Maybe it was his brain overloading. (Larry and Curly laugh) MOE: Good thing we brought that spare tire. Go get it, Curly. CURLY: Why do I have to go get it? MOE: Since you won't go get it, I'll give it to ya. (Jabs Curly's eyes) CURLY: Ohohohhhoohhh owww... I can't see.... HEY GUYS I CAN'T SEE.... MOE: Why can't you see? CURLY: Because my eyes are closed... nyuk nyuk... MOE: (pushes Curly out of the car) GET OUT THERE AND GET THAT TIRE! CURLY: (Goes back and looks in trunk for tire. Shouts to the front): HEY GUYS, I DON'T SEE A TIRE. MOE: (Shouting back) YOU DON'T? WHAT DO YOU SEE? CURLY: I SEE SOME LINT, A RUBBER BAND, A DOUGHNUT, ooh, a doughnut(munches stale doughnut), THAT'S ABOUT IT. MOE:(turns to Larry) I may be mistaken, but I thought you were supposed to put a spare in the back. LARRY: But, Moe... MOE: Shaddap. (does a double-slap to Larry) CURLY:(SHOUTING TO FRONT) HEY, I FOUND A SPARE! (Pulls out a bowling pin) MOE: Great. We'll, I'm not staying in this car with two imbiciles like you all night. AND YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH ME. LARRY: But Moe, Curly's scared of the dark. MOE: YOU'RE... NOT... COMING!!! (Walks off) CURLY: Gee, it sure is scary out here... LARRY: There's nothing to be afraid of... CURLY: The rain... LARRY: Nothing to be afraid of. CURLY: The thunder and lightning... LARRY: Nothing to be afraid of. (A large sheet of white plastic from inside the back of the car flies out of the still-open trunk and flies about 10' in front of the car, then begins moving toward it). CURLY: These creepy woods. LARRY: Nothing to be afraid of. CURLY: That ghost(looking at white plastic sheet). LARRY: Nothing to be... yaya ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! CURLY: AAAAAAHHHhhhhhhhh! (They both run up to catch up with Moe) MOE: I thought I told you mushheads to stay back in the car. LARRY: We would have but we was scared. MOE: Well, you're here now, and we can't go back because you probobly locked us out, but just keep quiet. I found this old castle. CURLY: I heard castles have lots of ghosts... MOE: Haven't you stopped believing in ghosts? (Both Larry and Curly shake thier heads in unision. Disgusted, Moe bangs on the door to the castle JOE BESSER appears). JOE: Yes? LARRY: We're selling life insurance. MOE: Hey, shut up you, I oughtta... JOE: What?! MOE: Not you sir, I was talking to my idiot friend. The tire on our car is busted and we need to call our girls, or we need a dime to use on one of the payphones near here. (Some stray cats have climbed onto the roof above the door. The roof is getting slippery because of the rain.) JOE: You're wet. CURLY: Yeah, it's raining cats and dogs. MOE: That's impossible. It can't rain animals. JOE: I think you'd all better come inside. CURLY: (remains outside for a second. A cat from the roof lands on him) AHHHH! Wait for me!!! MOE: Thanks. WOW, what a place. Imagine living here! LARRY: I don't want to imagine BEING here. MOE: Spread out(smack Curly in the head, pushes Larry off). Now, can we speak with someone about a dime? (A figure comes down an elevator. No one is paying attention to it except Curly. The others are waiting for Joe to answer.) CURLY: Ummm... uhh.... nya nya... MOE: Be quiet, I'm trying to talk to this guy. CURLY: (Wipes his hands on his face) nya nya (The figure turns around and reveals to be Shemp, wearing strange makeup). CURLY: NYA NYA NYA NYA!!!...... LARRY:(turns around, sees Shemp, and begins to back away, along with Curly). MOE: (Turns around). I may as well see what you lunkheads are making so much noise about, I won't be able to talk with this guy until I... (sees the heavy makeup on Shemp). A GHOST! THERE IS A GHOST! (The three run out of the house, smashing the door, and take off into the distance as the screen fades out)